Vaeira – He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

Parshat Va’era

“He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”

By: Rabbi Jeffrey H. Miller

It’s been gnawing at me for about 30 years.  Every year, as we read the story of the Exodus, I wonder – “perseverate” is probably a better word – why the Torah uses three distinct words to convey the (same) idea that Pharaoh’s heart was hardened:

קשה means “hard”; כבד  means “heavy”, and חזק means “strong”.  These words (used as verbs) are not quite synonyms but in context, they do convey the same basic meaning.

The heart, which in Biblical Hebrew is the seat of reason (not emotion), is supposed to be pliant and malleable; capable of adapting to changing circumstances.  The irony is that adding strength to the heart actually weakens it.  Much as a bridge or tree that does not sway with the wind is doomed to snap, so too, a heart that is heavy and hard can only break when faced with a strong headwind.  Hard arteries are not good for the body; likewise, a heavy, hard, strong, rigid and inflexible mind is equally bad for the soul.

Strength, however, is an asset for other parts of the body.  Strong arms are most definitely a plus, as the Torah notes more than once with two of our verbs:

On the other hand, ‘heavy’ hands are not particularly helpful, especially when it means the difference between victory and defeat, as the Torah recounts in connection with the Amalek War:

A ‘heavy” mouth and tongue are not to be coveted either.  When God first summons Moshe at the burning bush, Moshe demurs, telling God (what He surely knew before selecting Moshe):

I am still looking for a good explanation for the use of three different verbs to describe Pharaoh’s heart, but I am somewhat satisfied – for the time being – with an insight offered to me by my son, Rabbi Avi Miller.  He notes that in each of two examples above, Moshe’s physical disability – heaviness of hands and speech – are overcome with the help of his loving, faithful, loyal, older brother, Aharon.  Aharon supported Moshe’s weary arms in the epic battle with Amalek, and he gave voice to Moshe by delivering to Pharaoh God’s Messages of freedom.

Perhaps now we can finally understand one of the most enigmatic stories in Chumash.  When Aharon’s two sons tragically died, the Torah relates that Moshe – remember that he had a ‘heavy mouth and tongue” – told the following to his brother:

The usual translation of אֶכָּבֵ֑ד (in this context) is “honored”.  Moshe seems to be telling his grieving brother that he should be comforted in knowing that his sons’ deaths was God’s Will.  To this, all Aharon can do is fall silent.  Many commentators also struggle to explain Moshe’s point.

When we understand אֶכָּבֵ֑ד as heavy, however, Moshe, was saying something quite beautiful.  He gently reminded his brother of the time that Aharon was there to lift up Moshe’s weary arms.  He recalled the many times that Aharon gave voice to Moshe’s words when the greatest leader was stammering and stumbling under the weight of his own infirmity and insecurity.

Moshe now spoke with a light heart that eased his tongue and his brother’s heart.  He spoke with brotherly love, telling Aharon that he did not have to shoulder the heaviness of grief alone.  The nation would be there for him.  And so too would his younger brother.

That Pharaoh suffered from an unnaturally ‘hard’ heart was certainly a factor in evil choice that Pharaoh made.  But it was not the only factor, or even the most significant one.  Pharaoh’s true fault lied in a situation entirely of his own making.  He was unwilling to let anyone get close enough to lift him up.  He would not open his heart to someone who could temper his heart and help him get out of his own way.

Every human being needs to a brother like Aharon or Moshe, or a sister, or a parent, or spouse or friend, who can lift us up when our hearts and hands and tongues are too heavy and weary to face the harsh realities of life.  Pharaoh needed such a BFF but he refused to allow it because he fancied himself a god.

It is not weakness to need the support of someone else.  Midrash is replete with examples of HaShem taking counsel with His Heavenly assembly, and the Torah is filled with stories of prophets and kings and leaders seeking out advice and guidance.

A strong Leader is not afraid to show that he needs help.  After all, no man is an island onto himself.

Shabbat Shalom!