by Rabbi David Novak
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are that of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the Union for Traditional Judaism, unless otherwise indicated.
A woman has not received a get from her first husband. May the wedding party following her second marriage take place in a traditional synagogue?
The following responsum is reprinted from Tomeikh KaHalakhah volume 2. Tomeikh KaHalakhah is UTJ’s series of volumes of responsa (teshuvot) promulgated by the Union For Traditional Judaism’s Panel of Halakhic Inquiry.
The text below is the result of OCR. Although it has already been reviewed, if you identify any errors, kindly email office@utj.org. A scan of the original teshuvah is available here.
The meal following the wedding ceremony is a se’ udat mitzvah, a festive meal linked to and part of the performance of the mitzvah (See Ketubot 8a). In fact, the Talmud (Ketubot 2a) tells us that in earlier times the rabbis insisted that previously unmarried women celebrated their weddings on Wednesday so that three full days would elapse from the previous Shabbat, during which the meal could be prepared. It is during this meal that the seven nuptial blessings which were recited under the huppah, are again recited following Birkat Hamazon (the prayer of thanks for the food eaten). All this teaches that the wedding reception is no ordinary meal but a significant part of the religious service.
Traditionally, the wedding service and the reception that followed would be in the same location, which in recent times has meant the synagogue. Today, this is no longer absolute. While many couples still choose this traditional model, others arrange to be married in the synagogue and then go elsewhere for the reception. Other couples marry elsewhere and then book the reception in the synagogue. No matter where the reception is held, however, it is still a continuation and a reflection of the religious service that preceded it.
There are undoubtedly many valid reasons for marrying elsewhere and then booking the reception in the synagogue, reasons about which we need not speculate. Nevertheless, because the wedding reception is a se’ udat mitzvah and reflective of the wedding ceremony that preceded it, the synagogue ought to be cautious. There are families or couples who, realizing that the marriage was halakhically invalid, as in this case where a woman without a get is nevertheless married to a man by a rabbi who consented to perform the ceremony, want to authenticate or validate the “Jewishness” of the marriage by holding the wedding reception in the synagogue. From the family’s perspective this may be emotionally satisfying but from the synagogue’s perspective booking such a reception would imply tacit approval.
The Talmud (Avodah Zarah 8a) tells us the following:
An idolater who prepares a wedding reception for his son and invites all the Jews in his city, even though the Jews eat their own food and beverage and are served by their own waiter, they are considered by Scripture as if they have eaten forbidden meat. As it is said: ‘They will invite you and you will eat of their sacrifices’ (Exodus 34: 15).
While the Jews who “marry” elsewhere and hold the reception in the synagogue are not idolaters, the implication of this passage still applies. The very fact that Jews were present at the meal described by the Talmud makes them unwitting approbates, no matter the precautions taken. Similarly, the very booking of a wedding reception for such an halakhically invalid marriage makes the synagogue an unwitting endorser of such “marriages”.
The potential loss of catering revenue should not dissuade the synagogue from standing firm on this principle.
Rabbi David Novak for the Panel of Halakhic Inquiry.
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One of the founding members of the UTJ, Rabbi David Novak is recognized scholar in Talmud and theology. He has served on the Panel of Halakhic Inquiry and contributed to the UTJ’s 3-volume Tomeikh K’Hakalakha, a series of questions & answers on topical religious issues.
A disciple of Rabbi Saul Lieberman, Rabbi Novak is the author of many books and scholarly works, including:
Rabbi Novak holds the J. Richard and Dorothy Shiff Chair of Jewish Studies as Professor of Religion and Philosophy at the University of Toronto, where he is a member of University College and the Centre for Jewish Studies. He is also a consulting scholar and a member of the Board of Advisors of the James Madison Program in American Ideals and Institutions at Princeton University.